Mantras for 2021: Manifesting your destiny (Interview with Kate Hanley)

I recently had the pleasure of joining Kate Hanley on her podcast How to be a Better Person to chat about the power of manifesting your destiny by having a good mantra 

Listen to the Podcast Here

KATE: Sonia, welcome! So let's start off with your story. You were an actress with a sweet gig, a starring role on "The Guiding Light." Oh my goodness. All my soap fans out there I know are going to be so excited to hear that. You had that role for five years and then you left. So what happened?

SONIA: Yeah, so, I was so fortunate. I had played this role of Lucy Cooper Spalding, and it was an amazing experience. But  I had done it for five years and I thought if there was ever a time for me to leave and this was it. I wasn't in a relationship, or not a regular relationship at that time. I wasn't married, I didn't have kids. And I didn't have anything holding me. So this was my moment to go. The only thing was this time when I went back, as opposed to the first time when I left to sort of become this actress there, I thought, well, somebody made it so why can't I?

But this time when I went back, I carried with me this belief that I was never going to work again. And I was going to lose everything like this entire gig had just been a fluke and that was the last job I was ever going to have. And that really, really permeated every part of my life. I mean my relationship fell apart. I was losing all of my money. My auditions were not good cause I was walking in as if I was never going to get it anyway.

In fact, there was one that was so horrible. I literally unconsciously took a step back on every line that I said. And it was a small office, but I ended up hitting the back of the room. It was so terrible. I just, I left. The casting director was like, is she okay?

But anyway, I didn't get that job as you can imagine. I didn't get any other job for a year and a half. And I was sitting up on this bluff in Southern California and I was turtle sitting for $25 a day, really glamorous because I wasn't working in anything else. And as it was overlooking the ocean from up there, I was thinking, wow, I've created this life. It's not the one I want. That's not how this was supposed to work out. But it was in that moment that I realized, wow, the same tools that I had used to create success, I was now using to create my failure.

When I first got to LA, I was envisioning success. I was visualizing, "Why couldn't I make it?" I was seeing myself on TV. Now I was envisioning myself, broke, which I was getting really close to. And I was asking questions, powerful questions. Like what could I do? How can I make this work? Who could I reach out to? Now I just kept asking why can't I get a job? You know, what am I going to do when I'm out on the streets? You know, just terrible, terrible questions.

Same with my self-talk here. It was constantly positive and affirmative. Like what can I do? I feel good. I can do this. Where the other way it was, I'm never going to work again. I'm going to lose everything. And I took action and I'm a big believer in action. So I was taking action. I took a little more when I was more positive than what I was negative. But my results were a direct correlation of the mindset that I had. Because obviously I was auditioning, but I'm taking steps backward out the door. You know, that's not going to get me a job. As opposed to going in and being present and, you know, believing that it was possible.

You know, it was really a great lesson in how much, what you do. Your self-talk, the questions you ask, the visions you have for yourself, the beliefs that permeate all of your actions, the impact that will have on your results. And so I changed that around really fast. And I started to work the other angle. I actually did Moticise, what I'm doing now without even knowing I was.

So I was running, I decided to run up this canyon every day and I would visualize, I would do these affirmations. I realized that anything I yelled about would echo. So I would yell out, you got the job. And then I'd hear back, you got the job. And I'd celebrate as if I had gotten it. Doing that every day. Three weeks later, I booked a national commercial. And three months later, in fact running down from that canyon, I got the call from my manager, you got the job on "One Life to Live," to play psycho nurse Barbara.

KATE: There's so many great details in that story. Turtle sitting. I mean, only in Southern California. Psycho nurse Barbara. I love it.

So, you were talking about how you would run up this canyon and you would shout out into the canyon, you got the job. And then when you would like be kind of expressing this positive thing that you wanted. Right. But there was something about moving your body at the same time that you were doing it that made it more powerful for you. So what does that connection mean?  I mean, we know how important self-talk is, so why do we have to get the body involved? Or how does that help with manifesting your destiny?

SONIA: The body really activates so many things.  I think it's so unfortunate because people always think of movement or exercises, you know, Oh my gosh, it's something I gotta do. You know, and you've got the bootcamp or the really hard yoga class. Or imperative to our survival. So every part of your body, your brain, your heart, your lungs, your muscles, everything is created to give you a reward for moving. So that you'll do it so that you will survive.

And so your brain actually releases a chemical BDNF. They call it miracle grow for the brain. And it helps to create new neural pathways. And they find when you're moving, you're at a really open creative place. You're focused. You can tap into what I like to call that body intelligence or your inner guidance system. You can learn better. And of course, we also know the endorphins, the serotonin, the dopamine, all of those feel good things. Also, when you flex a muscle, anytime you move a muscle there, these myokines that get released that are so powerful scientists them the hope molecule.

So all of this stuff is happening when you're moving and then you add to it, these affirmations, it enhances it. It makes it even larger. And it gets it not just into your mind, but it gets it into your body. So you start to almost feel like you're stepping into it, you're becoming it as opposed to just thinking it. It also becomes a bit of an anchor.

So like if you're doing a specific movement to a specific mantra or whatnot, you can often just go into that movement and it starts to get connected to that mantra. So it will automatically give you a bit of that feeling again. And you can use it also as an advantage. Whenever you want that feeling, you can just go into that movement and it triggers that part of you. So lots of good reasons why you want to move and do them.

KATE: Okay. Everything that you're talking about sounds good. And it's making all these light bulbs are going off in my mind. I'm like, that's why I get so many good ideas while I'm walking. And it kind of sounds like this stuff that you're talking about. You know, saying a mantra and getting it in your body and tapping into your body intelligence and creating positive change.

Now it kind of starts to sound like manifesting. Which the idea of manifesting like, if you can dream it, you can become it. Or you just make a vision board, it'll all come true. It kind of can raise the hair on the back of my neck a little bit. And I'm curious, how do you explain manifesting to folks who are skeptical about manifesting your destiny?

SONIA: I get it. I actually really do. Because for the longest time, I kind of steered clear of the word manifesting, even though I kind of knew a lot of what I was doing was manifesting. I saw my own life. I saw it in other people's lives. But I think the reason is because manifesting has got a bit of a bad rep because of the documentary "The Secret." And while "The Secret" has some interesting aspects, it only focuses on one part. And that is the law of attraction. Then that is that belief that if you just sit in your home and imagine something it's going to show up.

I think I saw a meme the other day, "Manifestation is not Amazon. You can't just think it and it's going to show up at your door the next day." And I love that because it's, it's true. There's 11 other laws of manifesting that I think come into play. One of which is love actions. And I really, really believe that you need to take intentional action. When you have all your beliefs and your values and your rules and everything aligned with it, and you put that energy and focus out there, then things can start to open up.

Also law of allowing. And I think that's actually one of the manifestation laws that I like that I think in the kind of mindset world we forget about. And that is the law of allowing of really opening yourself up and being willing to sort of receive. Very often in mindset, it's all about the go, go, go, go, right? And there's never that being open to let it come to you as well. So I think there needs to be the receptivity angle as well.

We need to persist the needs to take action. We need to be out there. And we also need to be patient and we need to be receptive. And that balance can help bring it all into play. But I get it , for the skeptics, I would say, don't stop at law of attraction because that's not all that is necessary in all of manifestation. Does that make the hairs go down on your neck?

KATE: It does. I know that we have to break this association between good things happening and hard work, you know. Because then we think that the only way that we can make change is just to work harder. And then sometimes that makes change really wholly unappealing. Cause like, Oh God, it sounds like it's going to be a ton of work.

And I was checking out your website, which we'll feature at the end of the show. But you have a line that says, "What if it could be easy?" And I think that that's what's attractive about manifesting your destiny. But then I feel like the ego kicks up and says, well, if it's easy, it's not worth it. You know?

So, I like hearing about the law of receptivity because you do have to be kind of open and you have to be soft. And you might have to be somewhat still can't be moving a million miles an hour or else whatever's trying to come land on your lap might not be able to have a stable landing spot. So thanks for sharing that.

I do love to leave people with something practical, something tangible. So for folks who are listening, is there something they can do either right now, or right after the episode is over, that will help them kind of find that combination of words and actions that's gonna, you know, get their head and heart right for 2021?

SONIA: Sure. We could just do a little Moticise thing. I know we are all sitting too much these days in front of all of our Zoom cameras. But you can still sit and do this if you want, or you can stand up. Essentially put your arms into a T position and then bend at your elbow so that your fingertips are facing upright. So your arms are almost like an in a flag pole position. Relax your shoulders, cause sometimes we can tense them up when you do that. And then we really want to pull our elbows back and squeeze your shoulder blades together.

So  you're opening your heart opening to possibility. And in that you can add to it, what it is that you're wanting to open yourself to. So, you know, I am opening myself to ideas and creativity or opening myself to love. I am opening myself to invite in energy and power. So I would say choose what it is you want to open to and just keep sort of squeezing those shoulder blades and then release. And open it up and add that affirmation of what you want to open your heart to, and just allow it to come in.

So this is just a really great heart opener, chest opener. Especially when we're sitting on our computers all crunched up all day long. So it's just from a physical standpoint. It also just opens up our bodies. But it also has a nice feeling of sort of opening up to new ideas or new possibilities. And it's super simple. You could do it sitting, you can do it standing and you can do it at any time of day.

KATE: Love it. I was just doing it along to the extent that I could, because I'm holding my mic with one hand.  But sometimes I think we think of our mantras almost like an afterthought. Like, can we go down this rabbit hole thinking one thing. And then we're like, Oh wait, but I'm trying to be open to possibilities, you know.

It can feel almost like an afterthought, like, Oh yeah, right. I got to get this thing. Okay. I'm open to possibilities. But when you stop and put your body in a position. You know, it's like, it's really bringing you into the moment. It's bringing your whole self into the moment. It's like, instead of running on the treadmill while watching the TV, you're, having a moment on a trail in nature and your mind and body are in the same place.

And so thank you for that exercise that helps us bring our mind and body into the same place. That's really, it's a gift. It's not something that we are commonly experiencing.

SONIA: I think that's true. Yeah.

Daily Tiny Assignment

KATE: Today's quick little tiny assignment is the next time you tell yourself a mantra, pause long enough to assume the position Sonia just talked us through. Which I like to think of as cactus arms. Just so that you can bring your body into the moment along with your mind. And invite even more attention to be placed on whatever it is you're telling yourself about what you want to happen now or in the future.