The other day my son came home from babysitting and collapsed on the couch. He said, “I’m sooooooo tired.” He could barely keep his eyes opened as he mumbled. “I like playing with Luke but today I had to help him with 2 hours of homework and it was brutal.” I kind of chuckled empathetically as I watched my 15 year old reflect on his first “job”.
I replied “ Yes and that’s why it’s so important to do work that you love. Some people feel this way every day" I added “But sometimes you also have to find ways to love what you do”
Probably not coincidentally (I always believe there is a reason) that has come up quite a bit with my clients lately. Many of them have started doing what they love, yet are coming to weekly sessions drained and overwhelmed or as someone said “I feel like I’m on a roller coaster and I can’t get off. And I love roller coasters but gees I just need it to stop for a...
This is my absolute favorite time of year. I love holiday decorations, the music, parties and even the hustle and bustle of crowded stores and busy shoppers.
Yet it can also be very stressful. Studies have shown that 88% of adults feel the holidays are too stressful and according to the American Psychological Association 41% turn to food and 28% turn to alcohol to manage their angst.
I remember years ago someone asked me, “How were your holidays?” and after a long pause I responded, “I have no idea.”
I felt like I had been on a super high-speed train from Thanksgiving to Christmas and everything in between was just a blur.
And while it was still fuzzy, I did know Christmas was over, I was sick, exhausted, and suddenly sad. I had been so frantically “busy” that I missed out on the joy and fun of my favorite holiday season.
That day I decided I was never going to do that again. So, I sat down and wrote my own holiday manifesto with the intention to...
In 1964, the journalist Norman Cousins took a really stressful trip to Russia. Work was wearing on him, and on top of that, his surroundings were pretty unhealthy, exposing him to dangerous fumes like diesel exhaust. Those factors, doctors believed, came together to cause the grave illness that overtook him soon after: ankylosing spondylitis, a degenerative spinal disease with a grim prognosis. Cousins was told he had a 1/500th chance of survival. Over time, he would lose all physical mobility.
Stress, combined with a weakened immune system, had caused this horrible condition, doctors said. Well, if that's true, then the opposite of stress should heal it, Cousins reasoned. And so he set about creating positive emotions that would boost his immune system.
Cousins checked himself into a hotel, where he pumped himself with vitamin C and embarked on an experimental form of therapy: laughter. He watched Marx brothers movies, read humorous books, and focused his mind on all things funny....
Every single time I walk in my front door, my dog Sadie barks like mad. She celebrates with all she’s got. It takes her a full five minutes to calm down, and even then, she’s still panting.
This happens every. Single. Day. Not once has she ever greeted me like, Oh, it’s you again.
Of course, most people’s dogs are like that. For them, you coming home is cause for maximum joy. Pull out all the stops! Kill the fatted lamb! Break out the fine china—Mom’s home from work!
Dogs are always prepared for happiness. They live in a constant state of waiting for something good to happen. And when it does, they don’t hold back. They celebrate the crap out of it.
There’s a name for that magical quality: positive expectancy.
What if we were like that? What if we were more like our dogs, especially when it came to reaching our goals?
Honestly, a lot of adults these days are the opposite. We fall into patterns of negative expectancy so easily. We get...
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