Holiday Special: How to Prepare for those Triggering Family Gatherings

coping mindset stress Dec 14, 2021

Ah, the holidays! A time of unmitigated joy, right? Festive lights and yummy food and parties with those certain people who know exactly what to say to get under our skin.

Yes, I’m talking about family.

For most people I know, the holidays can be magical – but they can also be awkward, triggering, and stressful. They mean coming into contact with relatives they we only see once a year, and often, those relatives ask questions or make comments that make us feel misunderstood, not good enough, or just plain irritated.

My friend Misha prepared for last Christmas Eve at her sister’s like she prepares for board meetings. She memorized stats on how well her business was doing, so when people asked, she could brag about her achievements. Later, she said she felt kind of scummy, like she hadn’t been totally truthful – but she hadn’t known how else to handle it.

Ron, a former client, skipped one family gathering because he knew they were going to ask about...

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How to get over anxiety & depression: 3 things you haven’t tried before

It’s one of the most poignant questions a person can ask: how to get over anxiety and depression? Because when someone asks that, you know there’s a lot of pain and hardship in their heart.

Fortunately, there are ways to overcome both anxiety and depression, even if you think you’ve tried everything.

Here are three ways.

1. Instead of resisting the feelings…make friends with them.

In general, there are two common ways to confront depression and anxiety – ignore it, or combat it.

If you try to ignore it, often the fear just grows, and continues to influence your actions in ways you don’t want. It stops you from taking action toward what you want.

When you combat something, you create conflict, and that negative energy can overtake your mood. It can permeate you, so that the thing you want most becomes tainted by negativity. And again, that will inform your actions.

But if you take a totally different approach – negotiating with your negative...

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7 surprising ways to embrace (or at least get through) the winter

coaching coping Feb 17, 2020

Ah, February in New York. It's that time of year when the snow is the slushiest, the days are the darkest, and many of us feel cranky, tense, and cooped-up. Magical, isn't it?

Spring is just around the corner…even if that corner is still a couple months away (it'll get here, I promise!). Till then, here are some ways to invite the warm, bright liveliness of spring into your wintry days:

  • Try something new. Spring is all about rebirth and renewal – so put yourself out there! Take an art class, sign up for that Ashtanga yoga, volunteer at your kids' school. When you step out of your comfort zone (especially when it involves movement and creativity), you shift your mindset toward the positive and the possible, and add an extra "spring" in your step.
  • Move your body. The cold winter blues can be awful for our posture. We walk around hunched over, shoulders tense, contracting everything inward for warmth (and out of habit). Meanwhile, our breaths become short and shallow....
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