Recently, I stumbled upon the question: Where are you accommodating in life?
In what ways are you settling or compromising? Letting someone else get what they want, but not you?
We do that for a variety of reasons. We want to be liked or needed. We want to fit in. We want to keep the peace. Maybe we’re afraid to go the extra mile. Or maybe we don’t believe in ourselves, so we just do what works for everyone else. We people-please, we discount our own needs.
Interestingly, this came up again when a client of mine, “David,” told me about a business class he took. He went in hoping to learn about negotiating, and came out with a lesson on accommodating.
The instructor began class by asking them to pair up and negotiate a deal. Each person would be marked on various aspects, including whether or not they actually made a deal.
David went about it the way he knew how, in a way that’s worked for him in the past. He started off by asking his partner,...
There’s a lot of buzz out there around the importance of an entrepreneur mindset. Why?
Whether you are running a family or a business or even working for someone else, there are critical skills and benefits that can be harnessed from this mindset: creative thinking, seeing possibilities instead of problems, risk taking, perseverance, developing trust and confidence in oneself, listening and teamwork, and delegating to name a few.
So you might be wondering, what exactly is an entrepreneur mindset? And how do I get one?
According to the Journal of Entrepreneurship, researchers from the Indian School of Business found three main themes in the mindsets of successful entrepreneurs: they are people-oriented, purpose-oriented, and learning-oriented.
Let’s go through each one of those, explore what they mean, and learn how you can apply them to your life and business.
Entrepreneur mindsets are people-oriented.
There is a lot of talk about relationship attachment styles these days and while I’m not a fan of having these terms define you, they can certainly shed some light on all your relationships.
Attachment theory was developed by British Psychologist John Bowlby. The basic concept is our relationships today reflect how we viewed and experienced relationships, particularly with our primary caregivers in our formative years.
Last week on FB Live, I spoke about how relationship attachment styles can impact your personal and romantic relationships …for your listening pleasure you can check it out here. https://bit.ly/3CFZNtU
You might be thinking, well that’s nice but what does that have to do with getting rich?
The fact is, we don’t just have relationships with people, we have relationships with money too! And how you feel and what you believe can have a big impact on whether you earn, save, invest, or even lose money.
Let’s look at the 4...
How do you jumpstart your creativity when you’re just not feeling it?
We’ve all been there. Staring at a blank screen, frozen in inaction, or worse – spinning your wheels but getting nowhere. It’s like the Muse has abandoned us. It feels terrible, and if we’re not careful, those moments of paralysis and uncertainty can stretch out for way longer than we want.
Fortunately, we have a choice in the matter, and there are some tried-and-true ways to break out of those ruts and get back into that beautiful feeling of creative flow. Here are 5 of my favorite:
So take the pressure off. Step back from your project, take a deep breath, and...
Clients often lament, “Do I have to do this again? I thought I already conquered that habit (or thought or behavior)."
And they absolutely have in remarkable and very visible ways. They have achieved success and done things that they once couldn’t imagine. And yet sometimes those sneaky little patterns come back to remind us of what we used to do. It's almost like a test.
Has that ever happened to you?
Well, I truly believe that while we can slip backwards in our behavior, we never go backwards in consciousness. The fact is now we know what’s happening and can reverse course much faster.
Repetition is truly the key to success.
In fact, behavior changes happen because of repetition through something called “experience-dependent neuroplasticity”. In English, that means our brains change in response to our thoughts, actions, and experiences.
Every time you think a thought, a pathway of neurons lights up in your brain. If it’s...
It was a beautiful sunny day, several years ago, when a new client, Serena floated into my office. She had a buoyant energy and her smile lit up the room. She glided across the space and sat down in the chair, almost as if it had offered her a royal invitation.
I began, “It’s so nice to meet you, how can I help you today?”
Within in a split second her cheerful demeanor dramatically shifted, “I’m going to be fired, she blurted out. Then with mix of embarrassment and frustration, she added "I’m terrible at my job."
“Oh, I’m curious, what makes you so terrible at your job?” I asked gently
“I can’t ever get things done on time, I’m a chronic procrastinator.” she declared with absolutism. Then without skipping a beat, she named all the reasons why this was “terrible” and how it has “always” been a problem that she could “never” change. She wasn’t even sure why she...
I confess, I’m a “goal geek” and I still passionately look forward to making New Year’s Resolutions. Why? Because I love to curl up on my couch with a crackling fire and hot cup of coffee to just let myself dream. It feels freeing, light, full of hope and inspiration. Now I know that you can create your life anytime you want. But there is something about this time of year that gives me full, unadulterated permission to wipe the slate clean and just start fresh.
People often ask, “How do you stick to those resolutions? I start inspired and focused but never follow through.” Full disclosure, there have been plenty of times, that by January 17th, the average day most people abandon their newfound goals, I have fallen off the wagon too.
But I have learned, in order to make New Year’s Resolutions work….these 5 things must happen.
1. Resolve - Resolution comes from the root word resolve, defined by good ‘ol webster...
Ah, the holidays! A time of unmitigated joy, right? Festive lights and yummy food and parties with those certain people who know exactly what to say to get under our skin.
Yes, I’m talking about family.
For most people I know, the holidays can be magical – but they can also be awkward, triggering, and stressful. They mean coming into contact with relatives they we only see once a year, and often, those relatives ask questions or make comments that make us feel misunderstood, not good enough, or just plain irritated.
My friend Misha prepared for last Christmas Eve at her sister’s like she prepares for board meetings. She memorized stats on how well her business was doing, so when people asked, she could brag about her achievements. Later, she said she felt kind of scummy, like she hadn’t been totally truthful – but she hadn’t known how else to handle it.
Ron, a former client, skipped one family gathering because he knew they were going to ask about...
One Saturday night after making herself dinner, my friend Ingrid realized something: she had the whole night to herself, and no idea what to do.
Her kids were in their teens, growing more independent by the day. Her husband had his own hobbies, working out in the garage. She'd devoted the last twenty years to work and family—going to law school, raising two kids, working seven-day weeks. When she wasn't working, she was cooking, cleaning, chauffeuring, or sleeping. But now that the kids were older and her own work was done for the day, she had no clue how to spend her time.
A colleague had invited her to one of my Moticise events in New York City, and that night, Ingrid decided to sign up. Later that month, Ingrid stood with a group of other women as I asked them to look at different areas of their lives—Relationships, Money, Health, Career, and so on—and reflect on how each one was going.
Why don’t we do what we know is good for us?
For many people struggling to get the results they want - whether that’s in business, relationships, health, whatever - the problem isn’t that they don’t know what they need to do. Sure, that comes into play, too, as that’s when we need clarity and direction. But just as often, we know exactly what we need to do.
We need to stop eating donuts and start eating salads. We need to get off the couch and get to the gym. We need to hire a web designer, build a program, have a hard conversation. Yet over and over again, we struggle with actually doing those things.
Today, I want to break down the various reasons we don’t do those things we know will serve us - because breaking big ideas into smaller pieces helps us understand what’s really going on. Then we’ll look at some mindset hacks that will really, truly help you break through that barrier and get the job done.
Here they are: the 5 major...
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