How to get a success mindset? If you're wondering this, chances are you've got a big idea or goal in mind. I have a hunch that you've got something special in mind...and you're on the track by looking for ways to step into a success mindset!
Maybe you have an idea for starting a new business, or you felt a glimmer of inspiration for a new creative project. Or you’re finally ready to do that thing you’ve been saying you’re going to do for, I don’t know, ever.
Let me guess. At first, there was a lot of excitement. I’m gonna DO this! This time, it’s gonna work!
But maybe the excitement has worn off, and now you don't know where to start. You're standing at your desk or your whiteboard or your kitchen table, suddenly faced with all the million overwhelming tasks you need to do to make that goal a reality.
I've been there. (Who hasn't?) Especially for creative types who like to think big, that transition from "big idea" to "let's...
The other day, my friend Maddie called to tell me she’d reached her fitness goal of swimming a full mile.
“That’s amazing,” I said. “I didn’t know you were interested in swimming! When did you start training for that?” We’d been talking about fitness goals at the beginning of January, and she hadn’t mentioned this at all.
“Oh, forever ago,” she said breezily. “2018, I think it was. I took a COVID hiatus, but when my building’s pool reopened, I started up again. I wanted to tell you, but I didn’t want to jinx it. I never tell people my goals until after I’ve reached them.”
It was uncanny to hear that, because I’d just heard the exact opposite from my client Tim. “I always start by telling people what I’m doing,” he’d said last week. “That way, I’m on the hook—everyone’s expecting me to do it, so I can’t not.”
Years ago, I sat in the audience at a Tony Robbins event, avidly taking notes while he spoke about living courageously. One line in particular struck me like a bolt of lightning:
“The quality of your life is in direct proportion to the amount of uncertainty you can comfortably deal with.”
As soon as I heard it, and a hundred times since then, I have circled it, underlined it, starred it, dog-eared the page, written it in my journal, posted in on my bathroom mirror. I try to keep it near me so that I never, ever forget it.
Why? Because it’s 100% true. The more you’re willing to step out into an uncertain world – which requires a great deal of courage – the more big, beautiful, unexpected things will come to you. Because if you don’t step out into that world, if you stay inside your comfort zone where things feel so safe and certain and predictable, you won’t feel fulfilled, challenged, inspired.
The more courageously you live, the more...
A few years ago, I met Caroline, a women’s clothing designer who was trying to lose weight. She came to see me because she was struggling to stick with the various diets she set for herself. No carbs, no eating after 7pm, a 3-miles run every morning – she had a lot of good ideas, but every time she committed to one, she inevitably fell off the wagon after a week or two.
“It’s just impossible for me to lose weight,” she told me, looking utterly defeated. “I don’t get it. I’m not an unmotivated person. I run my own business, for Pete’s sake! I work hard. I push myself, and I achieve things. Yet I cannot seem to stick to a freaking diet.”
Now, I often meet people who are going through something like this. Diets are notorious for being hard to stick to – but of course, it happens with other goals, too. Saving money. Working on a book. Learning a new skill. Across the board, it’s difficult to stay motivated when...
Years ago, on a sunny afternoon in L.A., my husband Stephen and I were sitting in a rental car in a parking garage on Sunset Boulevard. He had just gotten fired from his job, and he was in a state of complete panic about what we were going to do.
Our daughter, Kaya, was six months old. I’d just gotten certified as a life coach, so I didn't have regular work yet. His was the only income we had coming in; we had no money to our names; and did I mention we had a six-month-old?
“What are we gonna do?” he kept saying. “How are we going to make money?”
The gig he’d been fired from was a “first-look deal,” which, in the film industry, is where they pay you to generate story ideas. A lot of people crumble under such intense pressure to be creative, but Stephen thrived under it. He can see stories and plotlines where other people see chaos. But that day, sitting in the car, all he saw was a dead end.
“It’s going to be okay,” I...
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