Faith is taking the first step when you can't see the whole staircase

coaching mindset moticise Jan 22, 2019

Recently, I came across this quote from Martin Luther King, Jr: "Faith is taking the first step, even when you don't see the whole staircase."

That hit home for me, because right now, I'm looking up at a brand new staircase in my business: opening a Moticise space here in New York City.

This idea has been in the works for a few months now. It will be a place where people can come to find their core, then manifest it – through coaching, Moticise classes, meditation, special events, retreats, and eventually nutrition. This space is truly the summation of all my passions: mindset, fitness, and bringing people together to reach their goals.

But no sooner had I decided to go for it when the fears set it.

Instead of being excited, I was paralyzed. I worried that being afraid meant something was wrong. For weeks, that fear plagued me. I was so afraid to make the wrong move that I all but stopped moving at all.

One night, I had trouble sleeping. I tossed and turned, dwelling on all...

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Two ways that going backward helps you move you forward

beliefs coaching moticise Jul 03, 2018

Once, when my daughter Kaya was younger, we were at a restaurant that had those placemats with games and activities for kids. She was doing mazes, and when I looked over, I saw she'd gone through three of them without making a mistake. Not a single dead end.

"Wow, you're good at mazes," I said. "How did you do that?"

She just shrugged. "Easy. You start at the end, and go backwards."                 

Stephen nodded, like she'd just said something profound. "That's how those things are designed. They trip you up if you go forward, but going backwards, the path is clear." 

That's how it hit me: going backwards is a big way to move forward. 

As soon as I thought it, I started seeing examples everywhere. Stephen does it all the time, so I didn't have to look far. When he wants something, he'll imagine that it's already happened. He'll get really clear on what that looks and feels like to have...

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What would you do with a second chance?

This month, I completed my second Spartan Race up in Tuxedo Park, NY. I was part of an amazing team, including my dear friend Linda, who taught me a powerful lesson on the Slippery Wall.

Linda was my sorority “big sister,” but we lost touch after college until a few months ago. We reconnected through Facebook, which was how I got involved in the Spartan race in the first place. She’s a lawyer here in New York, and when we met up last fall, she was still wearing a head scarf from her second round of chemo for breast cancer. After her first round, she told me, she’d thought she was done with cancer. So when it came back again, it shook her to her core.

I have to live my life, she realized. I have to get out there, have fun, be with people. I have to step outside my comfort zone, and go for the things I really want.

One of those things was the Spartan Race, a couple weeks ago.

One of the obstacles was the Slippery Wall, a slanted wall that you had to...

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How to Break Through Anxiety

coaching mindset moticise May 02, 2018

The other day, I ran into an old friend from college, Amber. She and I had kept in touch only sporadically, and last I’d heard she was living in England, so it was a total surprise to pass her on a sidewalk in Lower Manhattan.

We made plans for lunch, and when I saw her next, we got to talking. She told me about her fashion design business, her kids, her favorite places to travel. At one point, I said, “Amber, you seem like such a different person than how I knew you in college.”

I remembered her as being timid—kind, sweet, fun, but not particularly ambitious. The woman across from me was empowered, bold, confident.

She laughed. “I am,” she said. “I could not be more different. You knew the ‘old’ me.”

“How so?” I asked.

“Growing up, I had terrible anxiety,” she said. “Every little thing triggered an enormous stress response. Homework, making lunch, doing chores – whenever someone asked me...

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The #1 way to improve performance (hint: you might already be doing it!)

goals mindset moticise Apr 04, 2018

The other day, a friend and I got to talking about rituals – specifically, about how successful people all seem to have them. They exercise, meditate, drink tea or green juice, journal – often at the same time every day.

“What are your rituals?” she asked me, and at first, I felt sheepish. I couldn’t think of any.

“I don’t know,” I said. “I exercise, I juice, I journal – but they don’t feel like ritualsMy days are so different, it’s hard to keep any kind of consistency.

“Well, that’s okay,” she said. “That doesn’t mean you don’t have any rituals. What’s something you do every day that helps you keep a strong mindset?”

I thought about it, and the only thing I could come up with was this: every morning, before anyone else is awake, I get up and have my coffee. It’s my one moment of peace and quiet – the calm before the storm. During those...

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How to tap into your intuition

coaching mindset moticise Mar 20, 2018

When I first decided to become a motivational speaker, I started going to Toastmasters meetings to practice public speaking. With my background in acting, both onscreen and onstage, I thought I had a pretty good shot at it. I loved being front of people, tapping into emotions, telling a moving story, seeing how my performance could change their perspective.

What I didn’t count on was how hard it was to write a speech. In Hollywood, someone always handed me a script. Now, I had to write my own speeches. And it did not come easily to me.

Sometimes it didn’t come to me at all. I slaved over those speeches. One night, I was trying to perfect a speech I had to give the next morning. It was a very personal and emotional story, so I wanted to get it right. I spent hours that night, staring at a blinking cursor on my screen, overwhelmed by everything I wanted to say. Around 4 a.m., I fell asleep, with only a jumbled mess of ideas written down.

The next day, I stood up...

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How falling in love (with yourself!) will help jumpstart your goal

goals love mindset moticise Feb 05, 2018

I read an article once where Sigourney Weaver told about a time she was in an acting class. Looking around, she thought, “I feel so sorry for all these people. They’re not going to make it, and I am.”

Soon after I read that, I was in an acting class myself, and I sure as hell did not feel that way. But, I admired the strength and confidence she must have had, to believe that. I didn’t think she said it in a mean way – it wasn’t like “They suck and I’m awesome.” It was just a belief she had, a sense of certainty that she’d succeed. And she was right. (I’m guessing the rest of the group didn’t all go on to win Oscars).

But that day in my own class, I looked around and thought, Wow, these people are so talented. How on earth am I ever going to make it?

And that troubled me. I knew that if that was the belief I carried around me, my results would reflect that. So I made a conscious effort to change my...

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How to Beat Performance Anxiety

adventure goals moticise Sep 20, 2017

For years, I’ve wanted to climb Kilimanjaro.

I love hiking. I grew up doing it with my mom and sisters. Isabel and I climbed Mount Whitney, which is the highest peak in the continental US, and my mom and I climbed Mount Washington, which is the highest on the eastern seaboard. She and I also climbed the two highest mountains in Norway. Basically, if there’s a peak, I want to climb it.

But I’ve never done any of the really big ones. So this year, for my birthday, I decided to climb Mt. Kilimanjaro.

Stephen said I could go, as long as he didn’t have to. So I rallied my sisters, one of whom has always wanted to do it, and one of whom is reluctant (although optimistic – she was the first person to buy boots and a backpack).

As I began preparing, reading books, studying the trails – we’re going to do the longest one – I started to get scared. I was learning that the trail isn’t what gets people, but the altitude. I started...

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How to Change Your Beliefs in 1 Simple Step

Last week, I had the privilege of bringing Moticise to a big event here in New York. We did the Mindset Reset workout, and it went great – one of those events where you could really feel the energy in the room, especially when they got to their feet, shouted their goals out, and did some boxing affirmations (that’s my favorite part).

After the workout, one woman came up to talk to me.

“I know what I want, and what I need to do to get it,” she said, “but…” And she gave me a laundry list of reasons it wouldn’t work. “I know those are limiting beliefs,” she went on, “but I don’t have a clue how to get rid of them. How do you change your beliefs?”

Naturally, I knew exactly how she felt. Who hasn’t been there before?

Changing your beliefs is a huge part of finding success and being fulfilled. That’s why I spend so much time learning and teaching new ways to do it. I’m...

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The Power of Story

coaching goals moticise Aug 07, 2017

Last month, I went to Kelly Swanson’s keynote camp just outside of Asheville, NC. There were about 20 of us staying in cabins in the woods, with no WiFi or cell service – just each other, ourselves, and the time and space to work on our keynotes.

There was one man there named Dave,  who had lived on a 26-foot yacht for fifteen years. During one of the practice sessions, he told us about the worst nights on the water he experienced.

A storm had hit – this was in the Caribbean – and it was tossing his boat around like a toy. He’d tied everything down and locked himself in the cockpit, and now he was just praying to get out alive.

Then something approached, something huge and loud, that passed just feet from his yacht – a cruise ship. Beneath the raging wind and waves, he heard the distinctive thump of disco music. Through his port hole, he could see people on the decks, laughing and dancing and having a grand old time, totally unaffected by the...

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