How to Stay Committed to Your Goal

goals mindset May 22, 2018

Last year, I was working with a client I’ll call Lee. He was a young guy, new to New York, and working his way up the ladder in the publishing industry. He worked a ton, and he was exhausted all the time.

He knew he was going to burn out if he didn’t get more sleep. When he came to see me, he’d already resolved to go to bed earlier.

“Great,” I said. “What’s one thing you can do to make that happen?”

“Well, I’ve read that it helps if you put away electronics an hour before bed,” he said. “So I’d like to commit to doing that.”

Like many of us, Lee started off well. The first night he turned off his phone, iPad, and computerand put them in his office. He fell asleep later than he’d hoped, but more quickly than usual.

The second night he followed the same routine, and the same thing happened. Soon, he expected, he’d become a morning person.

Only he didn’t. The next week, he...

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Two ways to win in life (And win a Triathlon!)

A few weeks ago, my family took a trip down to Houston to visit my husband’s dad and stepmom. While we were there, we saw our friends Edward and Istra. They’re one of those couples who create this amazing synergy in their pursuits – which, in their case, is doing (or rather conquering) triathlons.

Edward got into them first, and he actually went professional for a while. His wife Istra started doing them soon after, and now, she’s just finished her third Ironman.

If you know me, you know that nothing fascinates me more than people performing at their best. Overcoming challenges, digging deep into their mental and physical resources to accomplish amazing things. Having a done a few sprint triathlons myself, I can appreciate how much stamina, dedication, and strength it takes.

So of course, I spent the week peppering Edward and Istra with questions. How do you do it? What motivates you? What are your tricks for pushing through the hard parts? What are your...
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The #1 way to improve performance (hint: you might already be doing it!)

goals mindset moticise Apr 04, 2018

The other day, a friend and I got to talking about rituals – specifically, about how successful people all seem to have them. They exercise, meditate, drink tea or green juice, journal – often at the same time every day.

“What are your rituals?” she asked me, and at first, I felt sheepish. I couldn’t think of any.

“I don’t know,” I said. “I exercise, I juice, I journal – but they don’t feel like ritualsMy days are so different, it’s hard to keep any kind of consistency.

“Well, that’s okay,” she said. “That doesn’t mean you don’t have any rituals. What’s something you do every day that helps you keep a strong mindset?”

I thought about it, and the only thing I could come up with was this: every morning, before anyone else is awake, I get up and have my coffee. It’s my one moment of peace and quiet – the calm before the storm. During those...

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How to Achieve Flow

goals mindset Mar 06, 2018

The year was 2002. I was running my first marathon in L.A., but this was not the sunny California weather you’d expect. It rained about 6 inches, and it actually hailed once during the run.

But despite that, I ran, and by mile 12, I’d hit my stride – I was in a state of flow. Effortless action and enjoyment. Complete immersion. Being in the zone. Have you ever felt that way when you’re doing something you love?

I ran up Highland Ave, a pretty boulevard I’d had driven hundreds of times. But today it looked different. Despite the clouds, it was bright, and the rain had softened to a light drizzle. Everything was in sync—my arms and legs moved in perfect time; I could breathe deeply; the theme song to Chariots of Fire blared in my headI felt like I could run forever.

Then something changed. By mile 20, I was dragging. Every part of my body ached, and all I wanted to do was lie down on the pavement and sleep. People can just...

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How to get the Mindset of an Olympian

When the Olympics are on, it’s a safe bet you’ll find me in front of my TV, cheering, shouting, biting my nails, and yes, crying. Considering that I almost never watch TV otherwise, you might say I’m a little bit obsessed.

To me, the Olympics are the ultimate mind-body-emotion experience. These athletes have put their heart and soul on the line. They’ve pushed themselves physically and mentally, while holding it together emotionally. And we get to see their shining moments.

So many stories from this year’s Olympics could easily become Disney movies. After watching the zillionth one (it was Nathan Chen’s comeback in long form figure skating, after such a disastrous short form), I got to wondering – what kind of mindset do you need in order to do that?

So I did a little research. I found dozens of ways to get an Olympic mindset, and here are my top five:

  1. Train like it’s a performance. If you only practice halfway, then you’re...
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How falling in love (with yourself!) will help jumpstart your goal

goals love mindset moticise Feb 05, 2018

I read an article once where Sigourney Weaver told about a time she was in an acting class. Looking around, she thought, “I feel so sorry for all these people. They’re not going to make it, and I am.”

Soon after I read that, I was in an acting class myself, and I sure as hell did not feel that way. But, I admired the strength and confidence she must have had, to believe that. I didn’t think she said it in a mean way – it wasn’t like “They suck and I’m awesome.” It was just a belief she had, a sense of certainty that she’d succeed. And she was right. (I’m guessing the rest of the group didn’t all go on to win Oscars).

But that day in my own class, I looked around and thought, Wow, these people are so talented. How on earth am I ever going to make it?

And that troubled me. I knew that if that was the belief I carried around me, my results would reflect that. So I made a conscious effort to change my...

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How to make your resolutions fun again

coaching goals mindset Jan 09, 2018

New Year’s Resolutions can be real downers.

If we’ve tried and failed at something before (and how hasn’t?), something sad happens: working toward a goal turns into a chore. It feels heavy, difficult, maybe even hopeless. And not many feelings are less motivating than those.

Up until a few weeks ago, that’s how I felt about meditation.

For God knows how long, I’d been trying to make meditation a part of my daily life. And I came up with every excuse in the book not to. After some reflection, I realized why: I didn’t know if I was doing it right. I didn’t know whether it was working. I didn’t know which kind of meditation I should do. I was so uncertain, and that was making it almost impossible to believe I’d ever meditate daily.

But then, I stumbled upon a new idea that totally changed my mindset.

The idea came from Josh Kaufman, a writer and researcher who studies learning and skill-building. In his...

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Don’t Forget to Do This before the year ends

goals love mindset Dec 18, 2017

During my One Life to Live daysmy home was in LA, but the show was filmed in New York. For a while, I commuted back and forth every few days. (Yes, it was a little crazy, but you can get used to pretty much anything.)

At first, I stayed with friends in New York, but as my character, psycho nurse Barbara, got more screen time, I knew I needed my own place. Just a small one, somewhere to sleep, eat, and drop by bag. A friend knew of a one-bedroom sublet, with rent so cheap that I had to ask him to repeat it. It was on the Upper West Side, just two blocks from the One Life to Live set. I couldn’t believe my luck.

Then I saw the place. It was on the ground floor, and the few windows it had were literally one foot away from a brick wall. You couldn’t even see if it was sunny or raining out. It was tiny, cramped, and as dark as a cave. But the price and location were right, so reluctantly, I took it.

I’ll just get some candles, and put up some...

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5 Lessons from Kilimanjaro (#3 will surprise you)

adventure goals Nov 06, 2017

For 25 years now, climbing Mount Kilimanjaro has been on my bucket list. And finally, a couple weeks ago, I did it.

And along the way, with my two sisters, our guide Robert, assistant guide, cook, and twelve porters from Kandoo Adventures (yes, 12), I learned a thing or two about what it takes to climb Kilimanjaro.

Here they are:

1. Go slow. “Polepole” – that means “slow” in Swahili, and that was our rallying cry. And we meant it. We might’ve been the slowest hikers there, being passed left and right, but I didn’t care. I’m told that slower you go, the better your chance of success, because you have more time to acclimate to the altitude.

Slow, small steps will get you to the top. (The tortoise and the hair, right?) As long as you’re moving forward, you’ll get where you’re going.

And after the first few bathroom stops, where Karin and Isabel and I would stand around chatting, our guide said, “You need to...

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How to Beat Performance Anxiety

adventure goals moticise Sep 20, 2017

For years, I’ve wanted to climb Kilimanjaro.

I love hiking. I grew up doing it with my mom and sisters. Isabel and I climbed Mount Whitney, which is the highest peak in the continental US, and my mom and I climbed Mount Washington, which is the highest on the eastern seaboard. She and I also climbed the two highest mountains in Norway. Basically, if there’s a peak, I want to climb it.

But I’ve never done any of the really big ones. So this year, for my birthday, I decided to climb Mt. Kilimanjaro.

Stephen said I could go, as long as he didn’t have to. So I rallied my sisters, one of whom has always wanted to do it, and one of whom is reluctant (although optimistic – she was the first person to buy boots and a backpack).

As I began preparing, reading books, studying the trails – we’re going to do the longest one – I started to get scared. I was learning that the trail isn’t what gets people, but the altitude. I started...

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