Spring is a time of renewal, cleansing, letting go of the old to invite in the new. This week, I want to share the incredible story of how my friend Kim learned to let go of her pain and embrace a new life, while flying high above the Hudson River…

It was Monday, March 2013. I was sprawled out on my couch in Brooklyn, putting the finishing touches on my grad school application and waiting for my boyfriend to get out of work and planning what to make for dinner. When he got home, without explanation or apology, he broke up with me. Just like that.

I was devastated. We’d been together six years, talking about getting married – yet he gave me no warning, no compassion. In a second, my life came crashing down.

I fell apart. I lost ten pounds in a week, surviving on coffee and liquor, moving through my days in a painful, unreal fog. Everything hurt. I just couldn’t absorb the truth: that relationship, which had been my bedrock, my identity, was over.

...

Last week, I got to go on The Daily Burn, a fitness show based here in New York, as their guest celebrity. I did the morning workout with them, and we did a really cool exercise about “reaching new heights” on a trampoline. You can still catch the interview, and if you’re looking for a fun, challenging workout to do every day, you can stream the workouts free for a month – check it out!

During the workout – it was about a half hour of cardio and strength-training – Greg, the instructor, said something that really struck me.

“If you’re thinking ‘I can’t do this’ – remember, that ‘I can’t’ is just an interpretation of a feeling. It’s not a reality,” he said. “Breathe into it, stay calm. Keep going.”

How profound! And it’s true in several ways – not just about exercise, but about life. Self-talk is a hot topic these days, and it’s continually...

Recently I came across a new mindset tool that I just love. It’s basically a happiness exercise, where at the end of the day, you recap what you’re happy about. But what I love about this one is that it takes it a step further, by asking “Why did that happen?” about each thing.

What I found while I was doing this, is that even such a simple question can have this global effect of changing how you see things. Suddenly, I saw my life in a more cumulative light, not just isolated events happening one day but not another. Something you did yesterday, or last week, or even years ago, can contribute to one moment of happiness today.

The first time I tried this was after I got confirmation that I’d booked this one particular speaking gig. I really wanted to do this, but it just seemed like it wasn’t going to happen—then it was, then it wasn’t, then it was again. Then, a couple weeks ago, it became official—success! So I was...

With Thanksgiving in just a couple days, you might be hearing a lot about gratitude – why it’s important, how to focus on it, and so on. For good reason – it’s essential to both physical and mental health. 

But sometimes we think that in order to be grateful, we need to be one of the Lucky Ones... those got-it-all-together, successful, confident people you meet at parties. (You know who I mean?) They must feel grateful all the time, because they’re so lucky. Right?

Wrong.

Yes, there IS a link between gratitude and being “lucky” – but, luck doesn’t just fall from the sky. Sometimes, you create it.

One morning last winter, I felt like one of those Lucky Ones. I woke up early; I had tones of energy. On the exercise bike, I had one of my favorite guilty pleasure songs blasting –  I’m totally embarrassed to admit...

It was high tide, and the waves were enormous, crashing against the shore. My family and I were spending a weekend at Cape May, and every day the beach had been glorious—sun, waves, sandcastles, the works. This one day, though, the waves were the biggest I’d seen—and it brought two totally different reactions from my two kids.

Ty, who’s seven, saw it as a big adventure. The waves were bigger than he was, but he couldn’t stop giggling as he jumped into each one. He watched the bigger kids doing it, and he followed right along, for hours, loving every minute.

Kaya, though, was terrified. My husband Stephen and I tried to shift her focus—“Look how many people are out there having fun! How can we jump each wave? What else can we do? You’re fine, you’re perfectly safe!” But she simply could not see past the fear.

It was such a clear example of a simple but powerful truth: you feel what you focus on.

Which means that you have the...

It’s a big question – maybe not one you’ve asked yourself before. So often, we’re programmed to think of difficulty and negativity first. The more we think that way, the more it becomes our mindset.

That’s why a question like this one can be so striking. It comes from a place of possibility, strength, openness. It can help you see the possibilities through a clean lens, without fear and doubt dirtying your vision.

I’ll never forget the afternoon I sat in my living room in New Jersey, the day before I drove across the country to Hollywood. More than anything, I wanted to act, to be a star—yet it was such a big risk. I was scared.

Then I asked myself, what if I couldn’t fail?

For me, that opened up a whole new perspective. I had to try.

I thought of it again when I left a secure acting gig on the soaps to try my hand at life coaching and motivational speaking. It was another risk, another step into the unknown—but I did it. And...

Sometimes people say to me, “Sonia, I get the whole motivational exercise thing. But I think you’re asking too much, to imagine the life of my dreams. It’s just not possible. I don’t know what I want.”

I understand that. If you’ve done the Journey Walk Guided Visualization, or the first section of Mindset Reset, maybe you’ve felt that way yourself. It can be overwhelming to allow to yourself to imagine the life of your dreams.

That’s the key, though – allowing yourself. Just for a few minutes, let your mind wander, explore, run free, chase a rainbow, dream. See where it takes you. Just for a few minutes, shut out those voices that say “That’s too much,” “that’s too big,” “you can’t have that,” “you’ll never do that.” Silence them—stop clinging to them!—and allow something else to come in. There are no wrong...

The marathon was this weekend here in New York, which made me think of my experience, back in 2000. What a crazy and thrilling experience—the crowd, the adrenaline, the energy. I have so much respect and admiration for the people who ran it yesterday. I’m reminded also, though, of the surprising feeling I got in the final few miles of the race. I’d never felt so empty, or incapable.

I hit the “wall” at mile 20. My partner’s wife was supposed to meet us, but she wasn’t there, and I was devastated. He was fine—but I’d been using our meeting point as a milestone, something to work toward, and when we missed her, I just felt there was no way I was ever going to finish. It seemed impossible. That well inside that you go to, when you dig deeper—I felt it just didn’t exist, like there just was no “deeper.” I felt so empty. Everything hurt. I could’ve just as easily laid down on the road and slept....

As I was shopping for school supplies with my kids the other day, it started to feel real that fall is coming. It may still be hot and sunny out, but it sure feels like a change is in the air – do you feel it too?

Every September, even before the leaves turn into their beautiful golds and reds, I get the feeling that it’s time to start something new, something substantial – almost like a New Year’s resolution.

It’s exciting – for me, there’s a certain readiness. It’s this new, fresh energy that things are changing, things are happening. I feel it in the big areas of my life – family, fitness, my business.

For one thing, my kids and I are just getting back from summer vacations – we’ve had an amazing time working with my husband as he films in Romania; we went to LA for the Emmys; we’ve also been taking hiking trips around New York and New Jersey. They’re starting school this week, so we’re...

Heather, put your face in the water! 
Djokovic, win the Wimbledon final!

A few months ago, my friend Heather gave me a great way to accomplish a goal. It felt silly, but it turns out Djokovic used the same method this past weekend to win the Grand Slam title at Wimbledon.