The other day, someone posed to me the question: which is more important, courage or confidence?

At first, it sounded like a chicken-or-egg question, one of those deep philosophical things you’d ask a guru on a mountaintop. But in the past week, it gave way to some great conversations, and lots of personal exploration. And it turns out it has a really useful, practical application in my daily life.

Constantly, people tell me, “I wish I had more confidence.” That sentence is forever stopping people from doing things they really want to do. I know for me personal, it’s responsible for almost everything I ever procrastinate on.

During the Twitter chat last week, the group unanimously agreed that courage comes before confidence. And that made me think: maybe confidence is the wrong target. Maybe we should aim for courage instead.

As usual, when I’m mulling over a phenomenon like this one, I decided to try it out on myself.

I’ve been doing more live...

For the past three years, I’ve been dealing with chronic pain in my left leg. I’ve had multiple MRIs; I’ve gone to dozens of doctors, specialists, therapists. Each one has found a possible culprit, but none of their treatments have worked.

As you might imagine, that’s been a huge stress for me. I’m an active person; I love moving and working out and trying new things. But with this leg pain, that’s getting harder and harder. And sometimes it feels less and less likely that it’ll ever go away.

Recently, I had what I think might be a breakthrough. It started with Z Health, a fitness system that looks at both performance and pain through the lens of neurology.

In class one day, the instructor said something that described me perfectly. “As times passes, the recovery rate of patients with chronic injury declines exponentially,” he said. “And that happens because they begin to belief nothing will work.”

Oh my god, I...

It’s February: the month where New Year’s Resolutions go to die.

I’m joking, of course. Hopefully yours are alive and well. But wherever you are in your journey, it’s a reality that change is hard. Often, we’re all gung ho at first, but then the daily grind sets in. We lose our enthusiasm, and we revert to our old ways.

Why is it so freaking hard to make a change?

Because our brains are like lawyers. They need evidence. And we’re crazy good at finding evidence of how “stuck” we are. We’re not so good at finding evidence of how powerful we are. Or that we’re capable of change.

I see this all the time around food and eating habits. Friends will order French fries, even when they’re trying to lose weight. They know there are healthier options, but choosing those options isn’t in line with their beliefs. “I’m not a person who orders wraps,” they believe, or “I just don’t like veggies....

Our family hosted Thanksgiving this year, which means a lot of the logistics fell to me – cooking, cleaning, shopping, meeting all possible dietary needs, and so on.

The Monday before, I found myself being especially stressed as Kaya and Ty were getting ready for school. I even stopped to jot down an idea for an appetizer, right as we were walking out the door.

“It’s gonna be okay, Mom,” Ty said. He and Kaya were waiting by the stairs. “It doesn’t have to be perfect.”

“I know, I know,” I said, “but I want it to be good. I want it to be really special for everyone.” And patiently, they waited as I wrote “roasted sweet potatoes” (I know, really original).

Finally we left. As we were crossing the street, out of the blue, Ty said, “You know? I don’t even know why the word perfect is in the dictionary. It doesn’t exist.”

Geez, my nine-year-old is so wise.

“Thanksgiving’s...

The other day my dog-walker, Pam, showed up at 1 o’clock instead of 3, like she usually does.

“Wow,” I said, “Sadie’ll be so glad to see you! Her walk this morning was pretty short.”

“I should get here early from now on,” Pam said, smiling. “I finally arranged it so that my walks are all in this area. My life is a hundred times easier. And actually, that’s thanks to you. Remember that talk we had, almost a year ago?”

I remembered. One day last year, she’d come in super-late – as in, later than usual – looking really stressed. Her dog-walking business was booming, but it was wearing her out. She had clients all over Manhattan, so every day she had to rush up and down the city to get to the next dog.

“You asked me what my bigger vision was,” she said now, “for what I wanted my business to be. And it was to have all the dogs in one area. That question completely changed my outlook.

...

People often tell me they feel overwhelmed when they think about setting a big goal (or doing an outrageous act).

“All I can see is how hard it is.”

“I’m so stressed out by all the things I have to do.”

“I’m exhausted just thinking about it.”

I know, I know. Big goals are scary, and they take a lot of work. (Someone on Pinterest once said, “If your dreams don’t scare you, they aren’t big enough.”) But sometimes that overwhelm can be paralyzing. Every day, it stops someone from achieving a goal that they are capable of.

So how do you move through it?

When I feel that way, I remember my client Anna.

She called me one Sunday night sounding desperate. She was in the process of leaving a career in film to pursue one in hotel business, and she had her first job interview the next day. So, understandably, she felt overwhelmed.

“Why am I even trying?” she worried....

Recently, my family and I went to Coney Island, and, as they often do, my kids taught me a powerful lesson.

My son Ty is almost eight, and he wanted to go on all the wild and crazy rides. Anything he was tall enough for, he’d go on. When we got to the haunted house, no one else wanted to go, but that didn’t stop him. So there I was, watching as he rode on the little cart, all by himself, into the Spook-a-Rama. His hands gripped the handle bar, and as he disappeared from sight, I caught a glimpse of his big blue eyes, wide with fear. I didn’t relax until he came out the other end.

When he did, his face was transformed. Actually, his whole body was. His fists were in the air, and he jumped out of the car and ran over, yelling, “I did it! I got through! Whenever I got scared, I just closed my eyes and faced my fear. That’s how! Just close your eyes!”

It was so cute, and at first, it didn’t strike me as anything profound. But on the way home, I...

We are super excited to announce that Moticise received the Fit Bottomed Girls’ Fittie Award for best workout DVD!

Mindset Reset is now officially an award-winning workout. What an honor! Thank you, Fit Bottomed Girls!      Get it here!!

It’s been an exhilarating 2016! I’ve been leading Mindset Reset workouts at a very prestigious financial institution for the second time, Seamless/Grubhub, the Grace Institute, and a handful of others around NYC. This summer, I’m booked to appear on morning TV in New Zealand (!), and last but not least…we’ve launched the latest Moticise speaking series – Holistic Nutrition for Maximum Potential, which looks at how your diet affects your mind, body, life, and everything else. Food, fitness, fun – all my favorite things! More info coming soon.

It’s so important to celebrate the highs in life. Celebrate all your...

Spring is a time of renewal, cleansing, letting go of the old to invite in the new. This week, I want to share the incredible story of how my friend Kim learned to let go of her pain and embrace a new life, while flying high above the Hudson River…

It was Monday, March 2013. I was sprawled out on my couch in Brooklyn, putting the finishing touches on my grad school application and waiting for my boyfriend to get out of work and planning what to make for dinner. When he got home, without explanation or apology, he broke up with me. Just like that.

I was devastated. We’d been together six years, talking about getting married – yet he gave me no warning, no compassion. In a second, my life came crashing down.

I fell apart. I lost ten pounds in a week, surviving on coffee and liquor, moving through my days in a painful, unreal fog. Everything hurt. I just couldn’t absorb the truth: that relationship, which had been my bedrock, my identity, was over.

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