When my kids were born, people said to me things like “Oh, your first Christmas with kids! It’s gonna be fabulous. Kids make Christmas so wonderful.”
That year, and for several years after, I thought, that’s not true.
Everything was turned upside down. We were late for church, because we were scrambling to collect all the million baby things, the diapers, toys, bottles. Kaya would cry when we were supposed to be celebrating, and she’d sleep when we were supposed to unwrapping presents. Then she’d be awake when I wanted to sleep. I was just exhausted. (And on top of everything else, now I worried I was a terrible mother.)
It wasn’t fun. And on top of all the stress leading up to the holiday, I ended up with a 103-degree fever on Christmas Eve.
Christmas is my absolute favorite time of year. I love everything about it: the hustle and bustle, the songs, the find-the-almond-in-the-dessert tradition. But in the stress I was holding onto –...