How do you jumpstart your creativity when you’re just not feeling it?
We’ve all been there. Staring at a blank screen, frozen in inaction, or worse – spinning your wheels but getting nowhere. It’s like the Muse has abandoned us. It feels terrible, and if we’re not careful, those moments of paralysis and uncertainty can stretch out for way longer than we want.
Fortunately, we have a choice in the matter, and there are some tried-and-true ways to break out of those ruts and get back into that beautiful feeling of creative flow. Here are 5 of my favorite:
So take the pressure off. Step back from your project, take a deep breath, and...
Clients often lament, “Do I have to do this again? I thought I already conquered that habit (or thought or behavior)."
And they absolutely have in remarkable and very visible ways. They have achieved success and done things that they once couldn’t imagine. And yet sometimes those sneaky little patterns come back to remind us of what we used to do. It's almost like a test.
Has that ever happened to you?
Well, I truly believe that while we can slip backwards in our behavior, we never go backwards in consciousness. The fact is now we know what’s happening and can reverse course much faster.
Repetition is truly the key to success.
In fact, behavior changes happen because of repetition through something called “experience-dependent neuroplasticity”. In English, that means our brains change in response to our thoughts, actions, and experiences.
Every time you think a thought, a pathway of neurons lights up in your brain. If it’s...
It was a beautiful sunny day, several years ago, when a new client, Serena floated into my office. She had a buoyant energy and her smile lit up the room. She glided across the space and sat down in the chair, almost as if it had offered her a royal invitation.
I began, “It’s so nice to meet you, how can I help you today?”
Within in a split second her cheerful demeanor dramatically shifted, “I’m going to be fired, she blurted out. Then with mix of embarrassment and frustration, she added "I’m terrible at my job."
“Oh, I’m curious, what makes you so terrible at your job?” I asked gently
“I can’t ever get things done on time, I’m a chronic procrastinator.” she declared with absolutism. Then without skipping a beat, she named all the reasons why this was “terrible” and how it has “always” been a problem that she could “never” change. She wasn’t even sure why she...
I confess, I’m a “goal geek” and I still passionately look forward to making New Year’s Resolutions. Why? Because I love to curl up on my couch with a crackling fire and hot cup of coffee to just let myself dream. It feels freeing, light, full of hope and inspiration. Now I know that you can create your life anytime you want. But there is something about this time of year that gives me full, unadulterated permission to wipe the slate clean and just start fresh.
People often ask, “How do you stick to those resolutions? I start inspired and focused but never follow through.” Full disclosure, there have been plenty of times, that by January 17th, the average day most people abandon their newfound goals, I have fallen off the wagon too.
But I have learned, in order to make New Year’s Resolutions work….these 5 things must happen.
1. Resolve - Resolution comes from the root word resolve, defined by good ‘ol webster...
Ah, the holidays! A time of unmitigated joy, right? Festive lights and yummy food and parties with those certain people who know exactly what to say to get under our skin.
Yes, I’m talking about family.
For most people I know, the holidays can be magical – but they can also be awkward, triggering, and stressful. They mean coming into contact with relatives they we only see once a year, and often, those relatives ask questions or make comments that make us feel misunderstood, not good enough, or just plain irritated.
My friend Misha prepared for last Christmas Eve at her sister’s like she prepares for board meetings. She memorized stats on how well her business was doing, so when people asked, she could brag about her achievements. Later, she said she felt kind of scummy, like she hadn’t been totally truthful – but she hadn’t known how else to handle it.
Ron, a former client, skipped one family gathering because he knew they were going to ask about...
One Saturday night after making herself dinner, my friend Ingrid realized something: she had the whole night to herself, and no idea what to do.
Her kids were in their teens, growing more independent by the day. Her husband had his own hobbies, working out in the garage. She'd devoted the last twenty years to work and family—going to law school, raising two kids, working seven-day weeks. When she wasn't working, she was cooking, cleaning, chauffeuring, or sleeping. But now that the kids were older and her own work was done for the day, she had no clue how to spend her time.
A colleague had invited her to one of my Moticise events in New York City, and that night, Ingrid decided to sign up. Later that month, Ingrid stood with a group of other women as I asked them to look at different areas of their lives—Relationships, Money, Health, Career, and so on—and reflect on how each one was going.
Why don’t we do what we know is good for us?
For many people struggling to get the results they want - whether that’s in business, relationships, health, whatever - the problem isn’t that they don’t know what they need to do. Sure, that comes into play, too, as that’s when we need clarity and direction. But just as often, we know exactly what we need to do.
We need to stop eating donuts and start eating salads. We need to get off the couch and get to the gym. We need to hire a web designer, build a program, have a hard conversation. Yet over and over again, we struggle with actually doing those things.
Today, I want to break down the various reasons we don’t do those things we know will serve us - because breaking big ideas into smaller pieces helps us understand what’s really going on. Then we’ll look at some mindset hacks that will really, truly help you break through that barrier and get the job done.
Here they are: the 5 major...
It’s a fact of life: sometimes, things just don’t go the way we want.
Even when we put in gobs of hard work, when we’ve done all the right things, when we’ve tried everything – sometimes, life seems to have other plans.
A few years back, my client Claire came to see me for this exact reason. “I’m ready to give up,” she said, pacing in circles around my office. Claire was a talented businesswoman with an impressive track record. She ran a successful consulting service , and now she was trying to branch off into another of her passions, and create a wellness business – yet despite all her efforts, nothing seemed to be gelling.
“I just don’t know what’s going on,” she said. “I feel like a total failure. Like I’m banging my head against the wall. What should I do?”
Poor Claire. She wasn’t used to not succeeding. She was used to pushing through and making things...
I’ve been coaching for almost fifteen years now, and the longer I do this work, the more I learn some profound yet simple truths. And one of those truths, which comes up again and again again, is this:
Fear is behind almost everything that’s stopping us.
It shows up in a million forms: anxiety, self-doubt, limiting beliefs, even anger and depression. At the root of all of it is good old fear.
That’s why so many mindset tools are designed to help us overcome fear. And that’s why today, I want to talk about a powerful topic that can help anyone at any stage of life, whether you’re building up a new career, feeling stuck in business, or struggling to help your kids through a tough time.
It’s about being brave.
In The Courage Quotient: How Science Can Make You Braver, the psychologist Robert Biswas-Diener writes that bravery is the result of two things:
Nowadays, we talk about the pandemic like we talk about the weather – it’s everywhere, it’s constant, there’s always something new that impacts our daily lives. But just because it’s “normal” now doesn’t mean that our lives aren’t still disrupted, or that many of us are still struggling to navigate each change. We’re juggling plans for work, kids, and activities; trying to plan for the next few months; and doing our darndest to stay healthy, productive, and sane.
It’s at times like this that we need one simple mindset hack: flexibility.
Flexibility works in some surprising ways, and I’m not talking about doing splits and backbends (necessarily). Let me tell a little story about my client Jenn, and how she learned the true value of becoming flexible – in more ways than one.
Jenn was an interior designer here in New York, and she was going through a lot of changes: the end of a long-term relationship,...
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