Have you ever felt like there is a whole debate club living in your head? It’s particularly loud when you are under pressure, faced with a challenge or going for a goal you really want?
It’s as if one part of your brain is saying “Go for it, you can do it”, while another voice negates that fiercely, “No you can’t, who do you think you are? Get out while you still can.” And then of course there is that other slightly more reasonable voice that convinces you to" just try" , "do your best" but then comes in and chokes when the pressure gets too intense.
If you have ever had that happen, you are definitely not alone.
For some reason, there were lots of big sporting events for people in my life this past weekend and that is a classic place for this mind game to rear its ugly head. First, my client Teresa was scheduled for a Spartan 10K trail run and called Friday with very “rational” reasons why she should...
Back in California, I had a friend and mentor named Sheva Carr. Sheva taught heart-math, which is the practice of syncing your physiology and emotions through your heart rhythms; It’s a fascinating science. Sheva and I spent a lot of time talking about my love of acting, as well as my ultimate desire to help people.
Naturally, I had concocted a whole strategy on how I would do this.
“First, I’ll redo my resume. Then I need to get a new agent, and maybe a new manager, who’ll help me get a role in a series. From there, I could get cast in a movie, and then I’ll finally be famous enough to help people,” I said, rather proud of my plan.
“Can’t you just do the last step?” said Sheva.
“No,” I said. “That’s what I have to do to get famous.”
“I’ve noticed something about you, Sonia,” she said gently. “You think you have to go ten extra steps before you get anywhere. It can never...
It’s that time of year, when many of us start to wonder “Where did all the time go, I didn’t accomplish everything I said I was going to do?
Trust me, that thought has certainly crossed my mind. And maybe you haven't earned a million dollars, finished that book, met your soulmate, or won an Oscar.... yet, but I still guarantee that you did a lot of noteworthy things.
Yet it's so easy to dismiss all the good things you did and focus on all of the ones you didn't do.
In fact, that is so prevalent that many people don’t even write New Year’s goals or resolutions anymore because they feel like they “always fail, so why bother”. And yet research proves that when you have a clear vision, set specific intentions and add concerted action, amazing things can happen. In fact, according to the well know study by the University of Scranton, people who set New Year’s Resolutions are 10 times more likely to achieve them than those...
Have you ever felt like achieving success is a hidden mystery and that only certain people have the key?
Or perhaps you are wanting more relationship, health or business success and it feels so far out of reach?
The fact is success leaves clues and if you are ready to put on your best trench coat, dark glasses and detective hat, you can crack the code.
This happened recently as I was catching up with my long-time friend Pam. Our conversation touched on everything from travel to family and relationships to business.
When we landed on work she sighed and said “It’s been so long since I was successful, I’m not even sure it’s possible anymore.
“What?” I protested, as the “life-coaching” hair on the back of my neck stood up, “You are one of the smartest and most creative people I know. Of course, you can be successful.”
Just for the record, she was a highly regarded creative director at a prestigious advertising firm when...
There’s a lot of buzz out there around the importance of an entrepreneur mindset. Why?
Whether you are running a family or a business or even working for someone else, there are critical skills and benefits that can be harnessed from this mindset: creative thinking, seeing possibilities instead of problems, risk taking, perseverance, developing trust and confidence in oneself, listening and teamwork, and delegating to name a few.
So you might be wondering, what exactly is an entrepreneur mindset? And how do I get one?
According to the Journal of Entrepreneurship, researchers from the Indian School of Business found three main themes in the mindsets of successful entrepreneurs: they are people-oriented, purpose-oriented, and learning-oriented.
Let’s go through each one of those, explore what they mean, and learn how you can apply them to your life and business.
Entrepreneur mindsets are people-oriented.
Clients often lament, “Do I have to do this again? I thought I already conquered that habit (or thought or behavior)."
And they absolutely have in remarkable and very visible ways. They have achieved success and done things that they once couldn’t imagine. And yet sometimes those sneaky little patterns come back to remind us of what we used to do. It's almost like a test.
Has that ever happened to you?
Well, I truly believe that while we can slip backwards in our behavior, we never go backwards in consciousness. The fact is now we know what’s happening and can reverse course much faster.
Repetition is truly the key to success.
In fact, behavior changes happen because of repetition through something called “experience-dependent neuroplasticity”. In English, that means our brains change in response to our thoughts, actions, and experiences.
Every time you think a thought, a pathway of neurons lights up in your brain. If it’s...
I confess, I’m a “goal geek” and I still passionately look forward to making New Year’s Resolutions. Why? Because I love to curl up on my couch with a crackling fire and hot cup of coffee to just let myself dream. It feels freeing, light, full of hope and inspiration. Now I know that you can create your life anytime you want. But there is something about this time of year that gives me full, unadulterated permission to wipe the slate clean and just start fresh.
People often ask, “How do you stick to those resolutions? I start inspired and focused but never follow through.” Full disclosure, there have been plenty of times, that by January 17th, the average day most people abandon their newfound goals, I have fallen off the wagon too.
But I have learned, in order to make New Year’s Resolutions work….these 5 things must happen.
1. Resolve - Resolution comes from the root word resolve, defined by good ‘ol webster...
One Saturday night after making herself dinner, my friend Ingrid realized something: she had the whole night to herself, and no idea what to do.
Her kids were in their teens, growing more independent by the day. Her husband had his own hobbies, working out in the garage. She'd devoted the last twenty years to work and family—going to law school, raising two kids, working seven-day weeks. When she wasn't working, she was cooking, cleaning, chauffeuring, or sleeping. But now that the kids were older and her own work was done for the day, she had no clue how to spend her time.
A colleague had invited her to one of my Moticise events in New York City, and that night, Ingrid decided to sign up. Later that month, Ingrid stood with a group of other women as I asked them to look at different areas of their lives—Relationships, Money, Health, Career, and so on—and reflect on how each one was going.
Why don’t we do what we know is good for us?
For many people struggling to get the results they want - whether that’s in business, relationships, health, whatever - the problem isn’t that they don’t know what they need to do. Sure, that comes into play, too, as that’s when we need clarity and direction. But just as often, we know exactly what we need to do.
We need to stop eating donuts and start eating salads. We need to get off the couch and get to the gym. We need to hire a web designer, build a program, have a hard conversation. Yet over and over again, we struggle with actually doing those things.
Today, I want to break down the various reasons we don’t do those things we know will serve us - because breaking big ideas into smaller pieces helps us understand what’s really going on. Then we’ll look at some mindset hacks that will really, truly help you break through that barrier and get the job done.
Here they are: the 5 major...
Nowadays, we talk about the pandemic like we talk about the weather – it’s everywhere, it’s constant, there’s always something new that impacts our daily lives. But just because it’s “normal” now doesn’t mean that our lives aren’t still disrupted, or that many of us are still struggling to navigate each change. We’re juggling plans for work, kids, and activities; trying to plan for the next few months; and doing our darndest to stay healthy, productive, and sane.
It’s at times like this that we need one simple mindset hack: flexibility.
Flexibility works in some surprising ways, and I’m not talking about doing splits and backbends (necessarily). Let me tell a little story about my client Jenn, and how she learned the true value of becoming flexible – in more ways than one.
Jenn was an interior designer here in New York, and she was going through a lot of changes: the end of a long-term relationship,...
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