The other day I went to this fundraiser for a friend of mine, where we played poker with the Poker Divas. This was the first lesson – you have to play to win. If you just play not to lose,  you will almost definitely lose.

I thought, what an applicable lesson to life. It made me think of a time I was at a conference, where they asked you to put a number on a ping pong ball at registration. And then throughout the conference, sporadically, they’d come out with this big box full of ping pong balls, like a lottery, and they’d call a number and give out some pretty significant prizes.

One time when they were calling out numbers, I was out in the hallway, and a guy who worked at the conference asked me, ”How come you’re not in there? They’re giving away prizes.”

I said, “I know, but I never put my number on a ping pong ball, so, I’m not going to win.”

And he said, “Hm, that’s interesting. I wonder where else...

Last week, I had the honor of co-hosting a fitness talk show with my good friend Eraldo Maglara on WMCN TV. It was such a thrill to be on set, talking about fitness and lifestyle and mindset (all my favorite things!)—but you can bet, I was nervous.

Backstage, after having my make-up and hair done, I had a few minutes before the cameras started rolling. And in those moments of waiting, nervousness crept in: my hands were sweating, my shoulders were tight. I tried to relax, but I only succeeded in getting more and more worked up. I closed my eyes, took a deep breath, tried a little meditation—but it didn’t work.

After a minute, I thought, this is stupid. Let me just get up and do something. So I went out into the hallway, and did jumping jacks and boxing moves, trying to disperse all that nervous energy. I made a fist and jumped up, like my team had just scored a goal, like “Yes! I did it!” And I got so excited!

Then, since...

If you know me, you probably know I’m passionate about visualization. I’ve used it for almost every important goal in my life – and, as long as I’ve done it right, it’s always worked.

Which means that I’ve had times it didn’t work—and that I’ve found one crucial aspect that makes all the difference.

Back when I was on soaps, I had an audition for a role in the reprise of Bonanza: The Next Generation. The character sounded perfect for me—except that she was an expert equestrian. I barely qualified as an amateur.

Still, I went to the audition. My plan was to fudge through the part on horseback by riding English style, not Western. Just a few minutes after I mounted the horse, though, it started pouring. The director called me back before I even made it once across the field. It was over so quickly, I was sure I wouldn’t get the part.

But maybe because it was over so quickly, they didn’t have...

Picture a chain of dominoes, starting with one as small as your fingernail. The dominos get bigger as the chain gets longer. How many dominoes do you think will it take before you can knock down one that’s 1 meter high and over 100 pounds?

Would you believe it’s only thirteen?

It’s true. Check out this video, where Professor Stephen Morris, a physicist at the University of Toronto, explains the science behind it. Basically, a domino can push over another domino that’s 150% of its size—so, by creating a chain where the first one is only 5 millimeters high, you could knock down one as big as the Empire State Building in 29 moves.

It’s a big question – maybe not one you’ve asked yourself before. So often, we’re programmed to think of difficulty and negativity first. The more we think that way, the more it becomes our mindset.

That’s why a question like this one can be so striking. It comes from a place of possibility, strength, openness. It can help you see the possibilities through a clean lens, without fear and doubt dirtying your vision.

I’ll never forget the afternoon I sat in my living room in New Jersey, the day before I drove across the country to Hollywood. More than anything, I wanted to act, to be a star—yet it was such a big risk. I was scared.

Then I asked myself, what if I couldn’t fail?

For me, that opened up a whole new perspective. I had to try.

I thought of it again when I left a secure acting gig on the soaps to try my hand at life coaching and motivational speaking. It was another risk, another step into the unknown—but I did it. And...

The marathon was this weekend here in New York, which made me think of my experience, back in 2000. What a crazy and thrilling experience—the crowd, the adrenaline, the energy. I have so much respect and admiration for the people who ran it yesterday. I’m reminded also, though, of the surprising feeling I got in the final few miles of the race. I’d never felt so empty, or incapable.

I hit the “wall” at mile 20. My partner’s wife was supposed to meet us, but she wasn’t there, and I was devastated. He was fine—but I’d been using our meeting point as a milestone, something to work toward, and when we missed her, I just felt there was no way I was ever going to finish. It seemed impossible. That well inside that you go to, when you dig deeper—I felt it just didn’t exist, like there just was no “deeper.” I felt so empty. Everything hurt. I could’ve just as easily laid down on the road and slept....

We all have those days when you just don’t wanna… eat right. Run. Work on your business, art project, etc. Whatever it is, how will you hold yourself accountable on those days when you’d just… rather not?

Here are three of my favorite examples of staying on track:

1. Jerry Seinfeld once said that he’d committed to writing one joke a day. And each day he wrote one, he put a big red X on his calendar. By the time he had a few X’s in a row, he realized he didn’t want to see the chain broken – so he’d write a joke, even on a day he didn’t feel inspired.

2. I’d decided to start getting up earlier, to get things done before taking my kids to school. (5:15am….yikes.) Needless to say, my snooze button got a lot of use for a couple weeks. So I made the goal easier– when the alarm went off, instead of thinking, ‘I have to get up and start the day now,’ I thought, ‘I will go out to...

As I was shopping for school supplies with my kids the other day, it started to feel real that fall is coming. It may still be hot and sunny out, but it sure feels like a change is in the air – do you feel it too?

Every September, even before the leaves turn into their beautiful golds and reds, I get the feeling that it’s time to start something new, something substantial – almost like a New Year’s resolution.

It’s exciting – for me, there’s a certain readiness. It’s this new, fresh energy that things are changing, things are happening. I feel it in the big areas of my life – family, fitness, my business.

For one thing, my kids and I are just getting back from summer vacations – we’ve had an amazing time working with my husband as he films in Romania; we went to LA for the Emmys; we’ve also been taking hiking trips around New York and New Jersey. They’re starting school this week, so we’re...

Heather, put your face in the water! 
Djokovic, win the Wimbledon final!

A few months ago, my friend Heather gave me a great way to accomplish a goal. It felt silly, but it turns out Djokovic used the same method this past weekend to win the Grand Slam title at Wimbledon.

I have a friend from NSA named Jim Cathcart. Once upon a time, he’d been very overweight and he wanted to start running. Now, he hated running, he hated every bit of it—but, he knew, it was going to be a critical component of his weight loss program.

So what he decided to do was this: just put on his sneakers, everyday, and go to the corner. That’s it. If he wanted to go further, he could, but if he didn’t, all he had to do was put on his socks and shoes and run to the corner and come back. His wife asked why he didn’t just run 1 mile or a set distance everyday. He responded, ‘Because I know I won’t do that but I know I can commit to going to the corner.’

He joked about it—one time, he was actually in a tuxedo going to some event, but he hadn’t done this yet. So, as his wife is yelling ‘Come on, we gotta go!’ he actually yelled back, ‘No! I have to put on my sneakers and run to the corner...