It’s a big question – maybe not one you’ve asked yourself before. So often, we’re programmed to think of difficulty and negativity first. The more we think that way, the more it becomes our mindset.
That’s why a question like this one can be so striking. It comes from a place of possibility, strength, openness. It can help you see the possibilities through a clean lens, without fear and doubt dirtying your vision.
I’ll never forget the afternoon I sat in my living room in New Jersey, the day before I drove across the country to Hollywood. More than anything, I wanted to act, to be a star—yet it was such a big risk. I was scared.
Then I asked myself, what if I couldn’t fail?
For me, that opened up a whole new perspective. I had to try.
I thought of it again when I left a secure acting gig on the soaps to try my hand at life coaching and motivational speaking. It was another risk, another step into the unknown—but I did it. And...
The marathon was this weekend here in New York, which made me think of my experience, back in 2000. What a crazy and thrilling experience—the crowd, the adrenaline, the energy. I have so much respect and admiration for the people who ran it yesterday. I’m reminded also, though, of the surprising feeling I got in the final few miles of the race. I’d never felt so empty, or incapable.
I hit the “wall” at mile 20. My partner’s wife was supposed to meet us, but she wasn’t there, and I was devastated. He was fine—but I’d been using our meeting point as a milestone, something to work toward, and when we missed her, I just felt there was no way I was ever going to finish. It seemed impossible. That well inside that you go to, when you dig deeper—I felt it just didn’t exist, like there just was no “deeper.” I felt so empty. Everything hurt. I could’ve just as easily laid down on the road and slept....
We all have those days when you just don’t wanna… eat right. Run. Work on your business, art project, etc. Whatever it is, how will you hold yourself accountable on those days when you’d just… rather not?
Here are three of my favorite examples of staying on track:
1. Jerry Seinfeld once said that he’d committed to writing one joke a day. And each day he wrote one, he put a big red X on his calendar. By the time he had a few X’s in a row, he realized he didn’t want to see the chain broken – so he’d write a joke, even on a day he didn’t feel inspired.
2. I’d decided to start getting up earlier, to get things done before taking my kids to school. (5:15am….yikes.) Needless to say, my snooze button got a lot of use for a couple weeks. So I made the goal easier– when the alarm went off, instead of thinking, ‘I have to get up and start the day now,’ I thought, ‘I will go out to...
As I was shopping for school supplies with my kids the other day, it started to feel real that fall is coming. It may still be hot and sunny out, but it sure feels like a change is in the air – do you feel it too?
Every September, even before the leaves turn into their beautiful golds and reds, I get the feeling that it’s time to start something new, something substantial – almost like a New Year’s resolution.
It’s exciting – for me, there’s a certain readiness. It’s this new, fresh energy that things are changing, things are happening. I feel it in the big areas of my life – family, fitness, my business.
For one thing, my kids and I are just getting back from summer vacations – we’ve had an amazing time working with my husband as he films in Romania; we went to LA for the Emmys; we’ve also been taking hiking trips around New York and New Jersey. They’re starting school this week, so we’re...
A few months ago, my friend Heather gave me a great way to accomplish a goal. It felt silly, but it turns out Djokovic used the same method this past weekend to win the Grand Slam title at Wimbledon.
She was training for a triathlon, Heather told me, and she just hated putting her face in the water.
‘So I would tell myself to do it,’ she said, ‘I would yell at myself. “Heather, do this!” “Put your face in the water, Heather!”’ She laughed. And of course I thought, I should try that!
I’m sure a lot of you saw that amazing tennis match last Sunday – the one where Novak Djokovic lost the fourth set and his momentum. And then he turned it all around to win the Wimbledon final. In the interview afterwards, Djokovic was saying how it’s not about talent right now, it’s not about technique, it’s about mindset. In fact, it’s so...
I have a friend from NSA named Jim Cathcart. Once upon a time, he’d been very overweight and he wanted to start running. Now, he hated running, he hated every bit of it—but, he knew, it was going to be a critical component of his weight loss program.
So what he decided to do was this: just put on his sneakers, everyday, and go to the corner. That’s it. If he wanted to go further, he could, but if he didn’t, all he had to do was put on his socks and shoes and run to the corner and come back. His wife asked why he didn’t just run 1 mile or a set distance everyday. He responded, ‘Because I know I won’t do that but I know I can commit to going to the corner.’
He joked about it—one time, he was actually in a tuxedo going to some event, but he hadn’t done this yet. So, as his wife is yelling ‘Come on, we gotta go!’ he actually yelled back, ‘No! I have to put on my sneakers and run to the corner...
During one of the Moti-adventures, I led a group of women kayaking to the Statue of Liberty. The workshop was about riding the currents of your life, and breaking our goals down into milestones.
As we got started, we could see the Statue of Liberty, and it looked so far away. Our kayaks felt so tiny—it was a little ominous; even I as the leader was like, oh my gosh, how are we going to make this happen?
The first thing the instructor told us was, don’t look at the Statue of Liberty. You know it’s there, you’ve seen it; you know that’s the goal; now let’s break it down. Our first destination is going to be that little red brick house on the other side of the river. Keep the tip of your boat focused on that house. And just paddle until you get there.
So that’s how we overcame that fear that arises when you’re starting something new. It can be scary, to look at your goal, your end point, maybe your whole dream vision. You might think, but...
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