1 surefire way to improve your relationship

Awhile back, I began coaching an entrepreneur named Heidi – a successful, confident interior designer who just couldn’t figure out why her marriage was a mess.

“I don’t get it!” she said, pacing around my office. For someone who sounded so baffled, she looked incredibly put together – stylish heels, tailored suit, waves upon waves of blonde hair. “My partner and I just can’t seem to make it work. We’re going to therapy, and I’m trying everything our therapist says – we’re communicating more, I’m visualizing, I’m even meditating. But we still can’t seem to stop fighting. I’m at the end of my rope.” She stopped pacing at looked at me imploringly. “Can you help?”

“Tell me about the relationship you want.” I said, and she reeled off a list of things.

“Good communication. Love. Intimacy. Trust,” she said breezily, like she knew the right answer and had...

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Need a Mindset Reset? 7 steps to create your success

dreams goals mindset success Apr 29, 2021

Have you ever felt stuck? Stressed? Like you could really use a mindset reset?

Millions of people wake up every morning, less than thrilled about the day ahead of them. Many even dread it. They drag themselves through their routine. They're tired, depressed, and they feel like happiness and fulfillment have passed them by.

But it doesn't have to be that way. Every minute of every day, you have the choice to take control of your life. You can step out of “stuck” and into the flow. You can redirect the course of your life, so it's one that makes you jump out of bed in the morning.

Don't believe me?

Neither did Ellen, at first. When I met Ellen, she was making her way up the corporate ladder at a wealth management firm here in Manhattan. She was successful in her career – she even had an office with a breathtaking view of the city – but the rest of her life , well, it left a lot to be desired. 

Her marriage was in shambles. She was so tired all the time,...

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Enter to win a Heart-Body-Mind Connection for Women’s Wellbeing

giveaway mind-body mindset Apr 27, 2021

As you may know, women have borne the brunt of Covid-19. Whether it's from sacrificing their careers to take care of (and educate) children, or through the immeasurable cognitive and emotional labor that comes when there is a major disruption, women have been uniquely impacted in this pandemic.

While it's great that more and more studies are coming out, raising awareness around this issue, the hard truth is this: there simply has not been a comprehensive, heart-body-mind connection that dramatically changes the path of women’s wellbeing.

Until now.

(You didn't think I'd say all that without giving a solution, did you?)

I’m thrilled to join two other dynamic women leaders—Dr. Suzanne Steinbaum, and Dondeena Bradley, Ph.D, author of Living Full Circle—for a Facebook live event with Bookstr’s global audience. We'll discuss our combined efforts to spur women toward authentic, life-changing and yes, even life-saving wellbeing. Collectively, each doing...

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How to get a success mindset: 4 steps to reaching your most exciting goals

How to get a success mindset? If you're wondering this, chances are you've got a big idea or goal in mind. I have a hunch that you've got something special in mind...and you're on the track by looking for ways to step into a success mindset!

Maybe you have an idea for starting a new business, or you felt a glimmer of inspiration for a new creative project. Or you’re finally ready to do that thing you’ve been saying you’re going to do for, I don’t know, ever.

Let me guess. At first, there was a lot of excitement. I’m gonna DO this! This time, it’s gonna work!

But maybe the excitement has worn off, and now  you don't know where to start. You're standing at your desk or your whiteboard or your kitchen table, suddenly faced with all the million overwhelming tasks you need to do to make that goal a reality. 

Now what?

I've been there. (Who hasn't?) Especially for creative types who like to think big, that transition from "big idea" to "let's...

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How to combat Imposter Syndrome

Impostor syndrome - the belief that you're a fraud - is one of the biggest productivity killers in our culture. Every day, it plagues millions of people with doubts and fears, keeping them from achieving their full potential. Especially in today's world of constant social media, where we're bombarded with images of other people's success, impostor syndrome robs people of their creativity and well-being, causing stress, burn-out, and poor performance.

When you suffer from Imposter Syndrome – whether it’s in your work, business, passion project, or even your relationships or health (yes, that’s real), you’re less likely to think creatively, problem-solve intelligently, and manage effectively.

Fortunately, there is a solution.

Are you ready? It’s simple:

Know your value.

Don’t freak out. I know what you’re thinking: How can I know my value when I don't feel like I’m enough?

Most people believe their value is so much “less”...

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How to get over anxiety & depression: 3 things you haven’t tried before

It’s one of the most poignant questions a person can ask: how to get over anxiety and depression? Because when someone asks that, you know there’s a lot of pain and hardship in their heart.

Fortunately, there are ways to overcome both anxiety and depression, even if you think you’ve tried everything.

Here are three ways.

1. Instead of resisting the feelings…make friends with them.

In general, there are two common ways to confront depression and anxiety – ignore it, or combat it.

If you try to ignore it, often the fear just grows, and continues to influence your actions in ways you don’t want. It stops you from taking action toward what you want.

When you combat something, you create conflict, and that negative energy can overtake your mood. It can permeate you, so that the thing you want most becomes tainted by negativity. And again, that will inform your actions.

But if you take a totally different approach – negotiating with your negative...

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One question that changed my life (and how it will change yours too)

Part 1: How it all started

A lot of people ask me where the question “What if it’s easy?” came from. Is it the result of years of mind-body training? Did they teach it in coaching school? Did you learn it in acting classes, on the set of Guiding Light or One Life to Live, or on one of your adventures on Kilimanjaro or Macchu Picchu?

The funny thing is, it was none of those things. It was actually an accident.

It was on a sunny afternoon in Los Angeles. My husband Stephen and I were sitting in a hot rental car on Sunset Boulevard, that famous place where dreams come true…or come crashing down. And that’s what it felt like that day, as we sat there soaking in the terrible news.

He’d flown out from New York City for a meeting with his boss, and we’d been hoping for something good—a promotion, a raise, a new project. But instead, he’d been fired.

And he was devastated.

Looking at him, I saw something I hadn’t seen before from...

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Life coach basics: What to expect when you start working with a life coach

If you’ve never worked with a coach before, you might be wondering just what are some life coach basics. What is a life coach, anyway? What do they do, and what can I expect if I hire one? 

Those are all great questions, and that’s why today, I’d like to share with you 3 basic truths about working with a life coach.

1. You are always in control.

A life coach – a good one, anyway – will never make you feel uncomfortable, or do or say things you don’t want to do. They will never force you to answer a question, pressure you to take actions you don’t want to, or in any way make you feel threatened or pressured.

Why is that?

Because life coaching is built on the foundation that you are the master of your own life. You are in charge, 100% of the time.

In fact, it’s not holding that belief that often makes us need life coaches in the first place.

What the heck do I mean by that?

Let me tell you a quick story about one of my first...

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Should you tell other people your goals?

 

The other day, my friend Maddie called to tell me she’d reached her fitness goal of swimming a full mile.

“That’s amazing,” I said. “I didn’t know you were interested in swimming! When did you start training for that?” We’d been talking about fitness goals at the beginning of January, and she hadn’t mentioned this at all.

“Oh, forever ago,” she said breezily. “2018, I think it was. I took a COVID hiatus, but when my building’s pool reopened, I started up again. I wanted to tell you, but I didn’t want to jinx it. I never tell people my goals until after I’ve reached them.”

It was uncanny to hear that, because I’d just heard the exact opposite from my client Tim. “I always start by telling people what I’m doing,” he’d said last week. “That way, I’m on the hook—everyone’s expecting me to do it, so I can’t not.”

Hearing...

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A Twist on Gratitude: Benefit Finding

coaching mindset Nov 23, 2020

Thanksgiving is in the air, which means there’s a lot of talk around every mindset guru’s favorite topic: gratitude.

Most of us have heard (and hopefully experienced) the life-changing benefits of gratitude: it reduces stress. It boosts our well-being. It’s even good for our immune system. It’s key to a healthy mindset, a happy mood, and a fulfilling life.

And yet, despite how important it is, sometimes it feels like there’s a limited amount of info out there about how to practice gratitude. Most of the time, people talk about keeping a gratitude journal. And while that’s a fantastic tool and I absolutely recommend it (and I even remember to do it sometimes), it’s not the only way.

Today, I want to introduce you to a twist on gratitude – a not-so-common way to shift your mindset toward positivity and thankfulness. It’s called benefit finding.

Here’s how it works.

Your brain is designed to answer the questions you ask it....

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WHAT IF IT’S EASY?: 10 DAYS TO MANIFEST A BOLD (AND BETTER) 2021

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